So then I had to stop, and think, what am I in this profession for. It is to empower young people and allow them to develop a passion for learning. Because....learning is cool. I would like to be more articulate than "Learning is cool" - but I'm struggling at the moment. I'm talking about the lovely moment when something clicks, and that is acknowledged. This is what I come for everyday. This is what keeps me going through the fatigue fog, the bad behavior, the deadlines and the tears.
The directions thing? Well....a month ago if someone asked me what I want professionally? I would have answered that I want to be teaching in a Wellington school both English and Drama. I.e a particular and single direction. The direction that I would have insisted I definitely did not want is to be moving out of the area. And if I had to go, I would have wanted to go as little distance as possible. So then - what happens when you are offered a significant promotion that is permanent, in a school with amazing facilities in a city that's really far away?
Well you take it. Because directions can change and the new direction can be really exciting. Yes scary, yes overwhelming, yes DIFFERENT (which is something that unsettles me the most) and yes away from all of the relationships with kids that I have worked hard to create. But above all of that....still exciting.
Part of the month-ago mind set also kind of wanted less responsibility so that I could focus on my classroom presence, teaching and learning for a while. But, again, new directions come up. I am moving forward excited about the professional step that I am making, whilst acknowledging all of the emotions, guiding conversations, excellent advice and support that helped me navigate this.
