Lacking Affirmation - wanting students to do well.

Today, this teacher feels so blah.
It's nearly the end of the term - on my social media feed I recently spotted this small video
Teachers trying to make it to the end of term which pretty much sums up the current feeling. If the link does not work - it is of two canoers trying to paddle a sinking canoe. The metaphor here is that we are all sinking in all of the deadlines around us. We feel assured that others recognise this feeling and it is one that is shared by others - but what I'm struggling with today is that this feeling brings with it a feeling of inadequacy.

When I get to think sinking stage - the thing that suffers the most is my students. I do not feel that I am able to prioritize them over all else. My lessons get really sloppy and I get so personally offended when students do not try, or talk when I am talking, or turn up late or any number of trivial things that are insignificant in the overall scheme of things.

I am trying very hard to get some students ready for performance assessment tomorrow. For this, I intentionally put those who I know are dedicated and committed with those who are struggling with attendance, confidence, motivation etc. This was in the hope that those who are struggling will succeed. However, all that has happened is that the work has suffered because those issues still exist. So then I ask myself, what is going wrong with my teaching? How can I get those who are bringing others down (for want of a better phrase), to feel more engaged in my class. Feel motivated to succeed. And, feel motivated to be depended on.

As I ramble, I come up with solutions. All possible. But sometimes, I just get so personally defeated when students don't do well under my watch - and I ask myself what else could I have done to make this different? Hopefully it's a passing moment and there will be clarity and success in the future.