Blog to clear the head

It's the middle of the holidays. I often blog in the holidays for two reasons.

• I finally have time to actually write the thoughts down 
• I find myself in this foggy thought puddle where as the pressure for getting things done disappears for a while (and hides, doesn't go away) I just get stuck in a kind of nothingness. There is no one around and I just kind of float. I get so disorientated by this feeling, that I need to 'blog it out' so to speak.

There is much to be done. I guess I am at the stage of the holiday when the pressure is finally mounting that I am forced to get going. Last week - it was not as simple. I would sit down to work (usually marking) and I would get thoroughly miserable. There were two things driving this

• As you've read in previous posts, I really HATE marking. I hate being faced with the possibility that some kids have not met the level of achievement, and I usually hold myself unreasonably responsible. 
• The other big projects that were time critical were big and scary. Namely - I need to direct a large school musical. It's so scary and (like other big shitty projects in the past), I find myself avoiding the tasks, because I am so worried about doing them wrong, or even worse, mediocre. 

So what do I do? Well, for the most part I avoid. But when that gets critical - I blog. I am blogging (again as an avoidance technique) but as an advancing one. I aim to be articulate here. To explain how I am feeling. And that helps me to understand, why I am feeling like this. The outcome - my brain is forced to deal with how to get through it. So again, you're forced to read through the annoyingness of me sorting it all out. 

I am getting to a new place with holidays though. I used to go through this extreme self disappointment getting to the 'work left to the holidays' in the last days of the second week. But actually, I am going to be nicer to myself. In the first week of the holidays - I just hybernated. I needed to recover.

Happy sunny holidays. Let the productivity continue.